The morning of the 4th of July I saw a missed call and voicemail from one of my uncles in Mississippi. His message said, "Lucy, I've been trying to reach your dad, please have him call me as soon as possible." I knew this meant someone had died. So for a few moments as I called my parents house and cells, I was trying to think of who. But when my dad called me back and told me my cousin, Parker, the Godfather of my only son had died. I lost it. Death is just so hard. I try to prepare for the worst case scenarios in my mind so maybe when it actually happens it won't hurt so bad. I didn't prepare for this. Parker? No. He hasn't met his Godson yet. I had all these ideas of sending Voss to Parker to hang out for a weekend of guy time when Phil and I aren't cool anymore. Parker would be the cool Godfather. That's what he said. On Monday morning, the kids and I packed up and caravanned with my sister and parents to Mississippi. Dad got a flat tire right outside of Jacksonville. Thus began a trip of hell. Lots of traffic and mom getting pulled over driving my van (I told her the lights were automatic...woops). What was supposed to be a 9 hour drive, took us 13. We missed the visitation. We finally got in and went to Uncle Bill and Aunt Jean's house (Parker's parents)- our usual first stop in MS. It was heartbreaking. The silver lining was getting to see my cousins and aunts and uncles. I was able to meet my newest cousin, Avery. The hotel was super nice, breakfast with family in the morning was really great. We had childcare for the mass, which was super nice. A fantastic lunch at the Caboose after (maybe not as fantastic since Parker wasn't there). Sweet tea! More cousin pics and family hugs and kisses. We ended at the cemetery to say our final farvel to Parker. Gosh, I miss him. We drove straight back to Jacksonville, got in at 1am. Lots of time to decompress in the car ride home. I'm not sure what will make this easier. Time maybe?